So I told you all a couple of days ago that I am going to talk a little more about fertility. Whether this is relevant to you as you have been trying for a day, month or year hopefully it will help to know you are not alone.
Someone asking “So when are you having babies?” or “No babies yet?” is my ultimate pet hate! Why do people think this is appropriate?! It isn’t! I never wanted babies straight away, I still felt I was too young, wanted to get my career going, settle in our home and enjoy the first year of married life. Is that so wrong? Apparently so because when you don’t announce your pregnant after a few months people start asking “no babies yet?” And a little time after that you get “maybe you should see the doctor, something might be wrong.”
I have so many issues with these questions. So here they are (let the rant begin):
- Why is it any of your business, are you involved in my private life? Would you like to share my bed?
- It is the 21st century, women can do things other than just have children.
- What if there is something wrong then you’ve just brought up something that I obviously don’t want to talk about, why would you want to upset someone?
- What if I am pregnant and want to keep it private? What gives you the right to know?
- I may never plan to have children but that’s my choice you are not involved.
Trust me. If someone is pregnant and wants you to know then they will tell you, so don’t ask the question and force them to fluff around the question with “we are just enjoying married life” or “we want another few holidays.”
When people ask these questions I don’t think they realise how hurtful it can be. The NHS states around 1 in 7 couples find it difficult getting pregnant. I appreciate the person asking the question normally is older and had no problem in getting pregnant but think of others, it can be a very difficult time.
The moral of the story is. We have all been there. I get asked this question weekly and although I normally fluff around the question I am contemplating saying “is it any of your business? Keep calm and have an answer prepared and for those tempted to ask… don’t!